AIR

Today

2011-09-29T00:01:00.003+08:00

What Is Your Net Worth?

2011-07-01T00:01:00.004+08:00

Your Net Worth in this life, is not measured in dollars and cents. It is what you are worth, to the world and to its people.

It is the smile you give, to a passing sullen stranger.

It is the listening ear you offer, to a crying friend.

It is the change you give, to a hungry beggar

It is the stretching of a hand, when someone else is struggling with the door.

It is the tough words you dish, to rein in a wayward friend, when no one else wish to speak up.

It is the standing up to a bully twice your size, when he is kicking someone you don't know, while everyone else is watching passively.

It is the little wink you make at a baby, and watch her face light up with delight.

It is the sharing of an umbrella to a stranger, caught in the rain.

It is what you do, to make the world just a tiny bit better, while you are in it.

Nett of everything, this is what you are Worth.

So forget the dollars and cents. It is not what you earn or have, that makes up your net worth.

It is what you Give.

Things In Life

2011-06-27T00:01:00.001+08:00

There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart... pursue those.
--Michael Nolan

Romantic Relationships Are Not Romantic

2010-11-07T00:01:00.000+08:00

Ah... romantic relationships...

The joy and bane of our human existance.

The very same thing that send us to a deliriously sweet heaven, or the deepest pits of hell.
And sometimes to both at the same time. :)

Most of us, at one point or another in our lives, enter into romantic relationships.

But more often than not, we never stop to think why.

Why do we enter into romantic relationships? What is the purpose of that?

Most often, we enter into such relationships because we think we are "in love" :

Because this person serves our desire to be loved.

Other times, it can be more practical.

Because this person fulfills our other needs:

- physical (sex)

- material comfort (money)

- practical (companionship, joint housekeeping and expenses, partner to raise kids)

- status / ego (trophy partners, protrays one's desirability)
- to be emotionally recognized / understood

Or to allay our fears:

- not to die lonely / without heirs

- power (to ally two rich families to forge a formidable / undefeatable union)
etc

I tend to think that most people falls under the first catagory:

They enter into relationships simply because they fell in love.

The "purpose" of it never did come into consideration.

In the beginning of romantic relationships, it is incredibly easy to share good times together;

a joke and laugh,

a song and dance,

a dinner and a smile.

The person sitting opposite to us, perfectly lit under the cosy orange lights, becomes the best thing ever.

So sweet and heart-warming, isn't it?

And then, time sets in and the glow wanes gradually. With the toil of day-to-day life, under the stark fluorescent lights, we see our Prince Charming turns into Prince Harming.

The Beautiful Princess morphs into a Pain In The Ass.

And after that, ladies and gentlemen, what did we learn?

That he person is total asshole? That she's a psychotic bitch?

That this person should not be legally allowed to roam the earth without first having a fluorscent warning label stuck to his/her forehead?

That's total bullshit (pardon my language).

And often, that's the bullshit we feed ourselves with, in order to assuage our ego and emotions when it comes all crushing down.

Perhaps the truth is, we had simply wanted this person to serve our own needs (eg, to be adored). But when we discovered that our partners did not live up to our expectations (he's actually withdrawn and unaffectionate), we pin the fault onto them.

Wait a min....

So did we really love this person, or did we love the function he/she served?

The truth is, it was simply a relationship of "needs exchange" - you give me what I need, I give you what you need. So naturally, when one party no longer gives it, the relationship breaks down.

Most people will probably agree that this is the type of romantic relationship we are most commonly having, whether we had thought about the purpose of the relationship before entering into one, or not.

In my opinion, the primary function of a romantic relationship is not romance (sorry, lovebirds).

Relationships are actually meant to serve and fuel our growth, as it is possibily one of the best way to learn about ourselves.

For it is in no other situations do we find ourselves as serverely tested, as when we are involved in one.

Although any relationship fully involves another person, if we view its function, its PURPOSE, as a mirror - reflecting back to us our deepest selves - the primary responsibility and focus will be no longer on our partner. The responsibilty shifts back onto ourselves.

Say what?

So if a partner cheats on me, I am supposed to see it as my personal growth, while seething with anger and having my emotions shred to shreds?

Well, yeah.

To me, romantic relationships function to provide opportunities for us to cultivate and demonstrate our best qualities, even under difficult circumstances. Especially in difficult circumstances.

Look. In life, we all know that there is no way that we can change anyone, or stop anyone from doing something that we do not agree with.

Often, we find it extraordinarily difficult to even change certain aspects of ourselves, so it will only be foolish to try to change someone else.

(The person has to want to change something for him/herself.)

Operating under this premise, so what happens, when our partner ceases to be loving, and you can't change a damn thing about it?

Well, the big question is, what do YOU want to reflect of yourself, in this situation?

Do you want to reflect yourself as a raving and ranting lunatic?

Do you want to reflect yourself as a petty 'revenge' seeker for your unjustified pain?

Do you want to pretend that you are ok with the situation, and live in quiet misery (read : escapist) ?

Do you want to admit to yourself that this is something that is not healthy for yourself in the longer term?

Do you want to give your apprecation to this person for having been in your life, and then step gracefully out?

(Oh, I've done all of the above. Not nessarily in that order though :p )

In the end, what we choose to do/act/behave, is not about our partner - it is simply a reflection of ourselves.
It is very easy to be a nice, loving person, being so sweet that you causes diabetes, while the other person is being the same with you. But what happens when the partner is not?

Well, it is only through tough times, that you truly see what one is made of.
Yes - I am talking about YOU. Showing your true self.

In time, after the drama ceases and the emotional aspects faded, and our beloved is only a memory, we think back.

That's when we can see our own role in the relationship more objectively, and learn what we have been, and how we have been, under those trying circumstances.

Whatever perceived wrong was done onto us, or unjustified pain suffered, some of us would see how we have reacted / acted in certain ways we that we do not like, and make a decision not to be a person that reflects that anymore. For the wrongdoers, we make a decision, not to act in ways that causes enormous pain and serves no positives to ourselves or others.

That's how when we grow and evolve into better people.

Now, that is easy to say and do, when time has passed - after the sting of the romantic mishap no longer hurts, and we no longer sneer while exchanging their name with something that rhymes with 'mother-trucker'.

The challenge is, while being mirred in current unsavoury circumstance, are we able to hold this thought in our head - that a relationship serves to reflect ourselves back to ourselves?

Not so easy.

However, there is this saying that goes 'If everyone sweeps their own stoop, the world will be clean.'

If we could act on the premise that we can :
not change a partner
simply do our own part
and reflect the best of our qualities, no matter the circumstances,
then our focus and responsiblity shifts from the insane obsession of our partner's actions, and gets shifted back onto ourselves.

I think that in this way, it also takes an enormous pressure out of our partner and relationships. Who wants to feel the weight of being responsible for someone else's happiness / unhappiness, with their every action, right?

So no, in my opinion, romantic relationships are not very romantic.
They serve instead, as a great avenue for personal growth and reflection.

But, if you would like to buy me flowers or send me a diamond or ten, I can give you my address. ;)

Passion

2010-02-14T00:01:00.005+08:00

A flat safe life that dare risks nothing - thereby missing out opportunities of great happiness, joy and personal growth?
Please. Keep that for yourself.

For me, a life devoid of passion is not a life worth living.

But let's not be naive now. There is risk of course, that comes with baring our vulnerabilities, putting our hearts into the unknown and of living a life naked against an often harsh world.
We may break our hearts, our bodies, and maybe our bank accounts.
But it is only temporary.

For passion is self-serving - like a soap can never be dirty beyond salvage, because a soap can be used to clean itself. In the same way, the nature of passion is that it revitalises and rejuvenates. Even the most weary soul.

So in reality, no one, and no one can ever extinguish the fire in a passionate spirit.

And no matter how seemingly insurmountable the hurdles, passion is what keeps life going with determination and joy.

So live life passionately!

And on this note, Happy Valentine's Day, you lovebirds!
For courageously putting your hearts out there, you deserve every lift in the spirits, every smile that warms you inside, and every joy of feeling your heart burst with love.

Hard to Say Goodbye

2010-02-12T00:01:00.012+08:00

The familiar scene on my way home

(the shops lining the left side of the street)

It is just 10 days to my departure, and I have no words that are adequate for this overwhelming lump in my chest.

The friends that you have known and loved, who had previously left your country, and warmly welcomed you upon your arrival into theirs - how do you say goodbye to them again, now that it is you who is leaving?

How do you say goodbye, to the new people whose friendship you have forged, who translated every menu during every lunch from the native language to you so that you can order your food, who took you to places they know and hang out at, who welcomed you into their lives and took you as one of their own, whose secrets you have exchanged, whose burden you have beared, and whose laughter you have shared - how do you say goodbye to that?

How do you say goodbye, to the shop owners whom you go past every single day on your way out, whose language you do not share, but nevertheless greets you warmly with a smile and a wave each time you walk past, giving you a soothing comfort you've come to rely on daily - how do you tell them you are not gonna be walking past anymore?

How do you tell the restaurant wait staff, who already know you so well that they know what drinks you will order before you even sit down, who always say "See you tomorrow!" when you leave the restaurant - how do you tell them you won't be coming back?

It is so hard....

Tonight, I took a good look at the building which I have loved even before I had stepped into this country, which I have worked in for the past year, and it's just so beautiful - cozily lit in warm lights, proud and majestic against the white snow that's still floating gently down from the skies. I stood there staring, taking in as much of this beauty as I could with my eyes, and burning the image into my mind as hard as I could. I do not want to forget.

And then, something in me broke.

As I stood in the streets, I started to cry.

It is a chapter I have to close, and I know that I have to go.

But gawd...

It's so hard to say goodbye....

On Borrowed Time

2010-02-08T00:01:00.002+08:00

Do not think of how to die

For nature will surely show you her ways for you.

Think of how to live;

That is in your hands.

But a lifetime is made up of individual moments

Like the drops made up the sea.

Yet you don't own these moments; they merely pass through you.

Like sea water that you may hold in your hands

But it seeps through your fingers still, a drop at a time.

So what can you really do? With this irony?
A prank that the heavens send, to give you an illusion of control
Yet takes it away from you.
Drop by drop.
Moment by moment.

Well breathe, my dear.

And savour

In the exqusitive pleasure of this very moment

Whilst it is still in your hands.
Treasure what you have, and who you have.

Enjoy its sparkle, and smiles. On borrowed time.

And then. Allow it to pass through you.

Leaving behind a bit of its shine and memories

Placed tenderly into your heart.

Where it lives on.

Epiphany

2010-02-05T00:01:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, the obvious is so close... sooooooo close, that it's right under your nose.

So you don't see it.

I mean, how often do you see right below your nose, right?

But I can't help thinking:

"Oh Linda! You are sooooooo dumb!"

Okay.
Self-chastising's over.

It's all good. :)

Recap of Travels 09

2010-01-23T00:02:00.003+08:00

1. Bangkok, Thailand - Feb 09

2. Geneva, Switzerland - Mar 09

3. Sttutgart, Germany - Apr 09

Sttutgart Spring Festival

4. Vannes, Brittany, France - May 09

(skydive!)

5. Nantes, France - May 09

6. Mykonos, Greece - May 09

7. Basel, Switzerland

Weil am Rhein, South Baden, Germany

Huningue, France

A walk through the borders of the 3 countries - July 09

8. Singapore - Aug 09

A visit back home

9. Vienna, Austria - Aug 09

10. Munich, Germany - Oct 09

Oktoberfest

11. Nuremberg, Germany - Oct 09

12. Prague, Czech Republic - Oct 09

13. Feusisberg, Schwyz, Switzerland - Nov 09

14. New York, USA - Dec 09

15. Nantes, France - Dec 09

(Christmas)

16. Brescia, Italy - Dec 09

(New Year's Eve)

Snippets of My Current Life

2010-01-23T00:01:00.005+08:00

The view from my window

The tram stop where I make my daily commute from.
Being winter now, the skies are usually still dark and gloomy even at 8am. It's not my favourite season.

My frequent lunch spot

My idea of leisure - the bookstore which I go to, when I can't wait for Amazon to deliver the books.

The prices of books here are at least double that of Amazon's and Singapore's Kinokuniya. Well, every girl has a certain weakness. Mine is books. :)

Dinner is usually something that I cook at home

This is what I usually do at home - sitting by the desk in my bedroom, devouring a book, or something off the internet.

I don't usually watch TV, and there can be months I didn't step into my living room, although I have quite a big cosy one.

And all this is gonna change in a month.
Let's see what my 'new old life' brings. :)

At My Death Bed

2010-01-13T00:01:00.000+08:00

At my death bed, I would not have regretted the things I had tried and failed at, but I would regret the things that I did not dare try to do.

On Trust

2009-11-16T00:01:00.008+08:00

There are 2 main types of people, when it comes to giving trust:

The first type trust no one, until they know you are worth trusting.

The second type just trust, until you prove you are not worth trusting.

I'm of the second type.

I think the ideal, would lay somewhat in between the two - to trust cautiously without being overly wary, and to trust but not blindly.

This, I'm still learning.

Which type are you?

Which type do you prefer to be?

Why Build Walls when we can Build Bridges?

2009-11-11T00:01:00.004+08:00

Compromise - the Bridge that joins two sides

Holding your stand - the Wall that divides both.

Build wisely.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T00:01:00.000+08:00

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Big kiss from this cold cold land!

Choose first the Emotion, then the Reaction.

2009-10-29T00:01:00.001+08:00

If you dare to drill right down to the core yourself, you will discover that :

The TRIGGER behind
- every single thought you have
- every single feeling you felt
- every single thing you have done

came from a place motivated by either Love, or Fear.
Always.

And now, for the big secret.........

...... choose "Love".

Then think again. Feel again. Act again.

Conversation in Prague

2009-10-26T00:01:00.004+08:00

X: "Where are you from?"

Me: "Singapore."

X: "Singapore? Where's Singapore?"

Me: "In Asia."

X: "Where is Asia?"

Me: "Erm... Singapore's near to Malaysia?"

X: *blank look*

Me: "Near to Indonesia?"

X: *blank look*

Me: "Vietnam? Thailand?"

X: "Ah, Thailand! You are from Thailand!"

Me: "Yes.... Thailand...."

The Head and The Wall

2009-10-11T00:01:00.000+08:00

Pardon me, while I go bang my head against the wall.

Normal blogging shall resume when the head-banging stops.
Or the wall breaks.
Or my head.

Not The Other Way Round

2009-09-11T00:01:00.000+08:00

In view of the September 11 anniversary, I wanna remind myself of these ideas I strive to live up to :

-   Cultivate a tough mind and a tender heart; and not the other way round.

-   Love people, use things; and not the other way round.

-   In my conduct: take the high road, get off the high horse; and not the other way round.

Have a good weekend, people.

Everyone's Coming!

2009-09-10T00:01:00.000+08:00

Busy social month!

The plane spit out the first of my visiting girl friends yesterday, and I got to show her a bit around the city. Turns out that Irene does like the city somewhat, and my chest swell with just that tiny bit of pride that I was able to give her a better impressive than she had formed of it years back when she last visited.

Also, Miss Cavadini is finally hurling her lazy ass over to this German-speaking part of the country, and will arrive tomorrow. The last time we met up, we were both holidaying separately in Barcelona (where I fulfilled the commitment to visit her in Europe), though she didn't turn up in Asia the following year (phooey). So it would be great to finally see this crazy girl again, and would be just that bit funny to show her this part of her country (just who is the auslander here?).

In another ten days or so, another two of my gal pals will arrive separately on the same day - Gio will fly in from Singapore, and Serene will arrive via London. Can't wait to see them, show them around (more lake visits, hooray...), and take them partying!

Just one question - how many times can you show the same lake to different people, till your introduction speech of the premise plays back on auto-pilot?

And in other news, I've discovered what a nice office Mauro has when I visited him briefly today.
Not only does he have a nice private corner seat, a good window view, there is also a small, get this - private balcony in the office!
It's literally 5 steps away. Imagine enjoying the sunshine and cool air while taking a puff and taking in the view, and technically is still in the office!
So I promptly accused him giving the boss a pompino to earn the privilege. :p

And tomorrow is...........
Friday!
Happy days!

Ego

2009-07-23T00:01:00.001+08:00

To glow from the admiration of fellow men, is merely having our ego masturbated.

But gawd, does it feel goooood.....

Existentialism

2009-07-23T00:01:00.000+08:00

To 'acquire and acquiesce' would have been a simpler answer to the conundrum.
But then, a bit of my soul will die each time...

Now pardon the sight of me, as one wilt under melancholy.
Funny that, existentialism and nihilism used to be merely idle musings...

Somebody throw me a prozac, please.
Or better, light a fire under my ass - might jolt me out of this indulgent despair